


These Humans

by Sol (rainha)



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Feelings, Friendship, Heartbreak, POV First Person, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 10:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainha/pseuds/Sol
Summary: An alien being shares their thoughts on the human species after having their heart broken by someone they trusted.





	These Humans

The realization of that the human species was cruel and heartless didn’t come in the softest of forms. I have always struggled with humans and I assumed that this time it would be no different. I have always survived the heartbreak and questioning of why I deserved that pain and I assumed that this time it would be easier, even, since I was already quite experienced in dodging my own bullets.

There’s always a first time for everything and after that comes a second, and a third, and so the story goes on. We reach a point where we’re really just reciting the same verses over and over again because we’ve heard that poem so many times before. And yet it’s never any less heart-wrenching. We enjoy it though. The adrenaline, the contrast between happiness and sadness. It’s almost as if the only way to feel alive is by dying inside. But isn’t that the point anyway? How do we know we’re truly alive if there’s nothing to compare life to? How do we know what light is if we’ve never seen darkness?

I have always had this strange way of seeing humans though. Ever since I arrived in this planet I’ve noticed that humans aren’t the kindest souls inhabiting this earth and yet I have always felt a strange empathy towards them. Some ask me why and I can’t give them an answer because I don’t know it myself.

I have suffered at the hands of these humans. The heartbreak has never got any easier and I don’t expect it to. All I can do is try to avoid it.

The saddest part is when the empathy you feel about someone just starts wearing off in a way that’s worse than hatred and anger: indifference. I grew indifferent towards humans. They’ve given me so much pain in return for the love and care I gave them that I simply don’t mind them anymore. Some have told me that, one day, I’ll eventually find good humans but I reached a point where I simply don’t believe it anymore. I don’t believe them. I don’t trust them.

Some have asked me why it changed. The answer could be long if only I told them but I always choose to not talk about it. The pain is still present and I have learned to live with it. It’s part of me. I have always been fond of scars because they let the world know about the wars we’ve survived and I don’t intend to get rid of mine. The scars I bear on my heart and soul are the proof that I was once someone else. Someone kind and loving, someone who would give everything in return for nothing. They remind me of mistakes I can never repeat for my own sake and for the others’ too.

The saddest part if when you see the potential on a human but are too scared to take it forward. Experience is a good teacher but it’s also a bad influence. You learn harsh lessons from experience. Lessons you can never forget because they keep repeating themselves as life goes on. They keep hitting you hard whenever you let yourself slip onto the same mistake. Eventually, you learn at once and don’t let yourself slip again. This is where I stand.

Thinking of humans as friendly beings hasn’t disappeared and I still believe it’s possible, but trusting a human is something I now hold resent for. I remember all those times when I smiled at humans and only a few months later they turned their back on me, laughed and left me there in the rain with no one to turn to. Yet I have always given them another chance. I kept telling myself that those humans were different than the previous ones, only to find out later on that they’re all the same.

These humans, they have a strange habit of coming into your life and making you love them, only to strip you off their love when you start believing that you might have found something special in them. They talk of love like they know all about it but once you get to truly know them, you’ll see that love is something they don’t have in them. Human beings are cruel and cold. They take advantage of one another, they lie, they cheat, they wound each other because it makes them feel powerful.

Sometimes they’re different though. Sometimes you get to see them being kind to each other and sometimes even to species others than their own. They’re not many though and it doesn’t happen often. Maybe I have lost all faith in this human species, maybe I’m blinded by all the harm they have caused me. I can only speak of what I know and have experienced though, and I can't speak for anybody else but myself.

Some ask me what happened to make me change my mind about these humans. They know I wasn’t like this and they wonder what could possibly have happened. I could tell them all about it but the pain is strong and the heartbreak makes my eyes bleed crystal clear rain drops while my throat clenches in what feels like an endless abyss of despair. Yet I can tell them that all it took was one unfinished goodbye.

My faith and love for these humans were a house of cards in a soft breeze of spring. The birds sang all around it while the sun shone brightly in its mighty glory up above this earth. This goodbye came knocking on my door and suddenly the spring had turned back to let the winter in, the breeze was now cold and violent, the snow rolled into the doorstep and the house started shaking. This goodbye came out of nowhere, no warning, no clue as to why it was even brought into existence. I could only stand at my doorstep and watch as my house crumbled to dust, the walls turned to fragile glass that shattered from the touch of a feather. Suddenly it was all gone. There was nothing left to that house and that was when my faith in these humans crumbled out of my heart. I watched it run away to never return. It never looked back. It had been knocked around so many times that its cries couldn’t be heard anymore. I stood watching it all happen before my eyes, unable to do something about it no matter how hard I tried.

The winter that was this unfinished goodbye stayed by my side ever since. It froze my heart and my trust in such a way that I don’t believe it could ever be melted away. I have been forced to the conclusion that these humans are not to be trusted with one’s heart and soul. They take it hard into their hands and do as they please. Sadly, most of these humans will break you so deeply that you will ask yourself how to ever get back up again.

In the end, it’s alright. I have learned that on this earth we are alone. We convince ourselves that someone will always be there. We choose to forget the laws of life itself so that we can still see the sun shining like it used to. We hold on to that last shred of faith, as delusional as it may be, and we keep going forward because we can’t turn back.

I have given all of my soul to these humans before. I have loved them unconditionally. I have been left behind. I have been killed by those I trusted to save my life. I have learned that these humans, these poor humans, are struggling with the same pain they put me through. And that is why I don’t trust them anymore. That is why I won’t let them hurt me again. That is why I won’t give myself the chance to hurt them too.


End file.
